January 2012
Forreal it seems like you spend more time with that person then me remember I’m your bf, yeah I could be a little irrational or stingy or whatever but idk I just don’t like it. Grrr. Now my blood pressure has probably risen a shit ton, maybe ill pass out.
My parents think I’m a drug addict. Because I don’t want to spend time with them, I’m in my room a lot a.d because id rather be alone. They don’t realize that its their fualt I don’t want to hang.out with them, I mean I lost all reapect for both of them after I found out their dirty little secret. I don’t know how, how do yoh forgive someone for basically being...
I’m going to end up in mrs.d office balling my eyes out. I don’t want thia to happen this week.
And now here comes my notorious panic anxiety attack combo, fml, this week is going to kill me I don’t want another crazy stressful week like last week. And now there goes my mood I went from confident and feeling like I look good to wishing I was in sweats and stayed home. Gahhhh someone please make this week not be hell
Right now I just want to lay in bed and cry, I possibly if she’s not in a good mood not be able to do nyc because ill be late its the same day and I hope she will let me bring it after school if not I’m going to cry a lot!
Everyone has their own monsters what's yours?
1) the fact that I blame myself for my mothers death to this day.
2)that I was physically abused as a kid by my mother and grandmother
3) that I used to watch my mom do a shit ton of pills and then pass out
4) I had an addiction to oxy, Valium, Vicodin, and alcohol
5)I used to be anorexic till tenth grade
6) my biggest fear is turning into my mother and that I think I’m slowly turning...
I love the fact that I have so much clothes but I wish I could look just high class everyday why cant I have a high fashion wardrobe
I can’t sleep…… I have school tmrw and have to wake up in 6 hrs someone get me to sleep.
I'm bored and don't want to go to school tmrw!
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